Traditional Cache (4/5)
Once upon a space (not a time mind you, time is an illusion and this is real!). So, once upon a space, there was a dimension called “hudackoland” where, of course, there lived “hudackos”. Hudackoland was very much like your own world except for a slight evolutionary tweak here and there and a few missing laws of physics. The evolutionary changes included a few interesting reversals–birds there were scaly and snakes had beautiful downy plumage, horses were as big as ants and ants were as big as ponies, etc. Oh, and all the dolphins were a stunning shade of pink. So one day a very iridescent hudacko said to her friend, a very pink dolphin, “Say, have you heard about the treasure hidden where the kingdoms of Harnetta, Chathamania and Leetho meet along the Cape of Fear River?” “Yes,” exclaimed the dolphin, “but I heard that you had to cross 42 hills to reach it and it’s guarded by dolphin-eating thorn plants!”. “Nonsense!” cried the hudacko, “We must only pass over the bridge of Euls and through the pawpaw forest then sail from the banks of Slough to the Isle of Caches.” So the iridescent hudacko and the pink dolphin set off in a little red rocket propelled by the reflections of a philosopher and before long they came to the kingdom of Chathamania. After inquiring directions from several stalks of corn, they made their way to the palace of King John and Queen Sue. After speeches and pandering and much pointing at Giggle maps, the gracious monarchs mounted their snow white comet and zoomed ahead to lead the colorful wanderers toward their goal. But kindly Queen Sue said, “We cannot cross the space-time boundary of our kingdom,” and King John said, “Take the left road for it will lead you to a secret path around many obstacles–particularly the outbreak of psoriasis!” And so we traveled the left path and when the path became too thick with space fronds for the little red rocket to carry us further, we donned our space suits and sprayed ourselves with cosmic mosquito repellant and proceeded on foot. The rest of what happened on that fateful journey will be available in my forthcoming book “Hudackoland and Why It’s Where the Cool Kids Hang Out” by Finagle Press. Available in print, e-Book and babelfish formats. P. S. Where do I deliver these keys?